The quote that means the most to me is the one that talks about the fact that people seek forgiveness or want to repent because they are afraid of the consequences, not because they are genuinely sorry about causing pain. I know this is the reason I came out about being a sex offender. I didn’t, and to some extent, don’t care about the many victims and what I have done to them. I only care about not going to hell and suffering for what I have done. Confessing wasn’t an act of bravery but of cowardice.
To me it seems like the consequences both for time and eternity are the same whether I came forward or not. I can never undo the suffering I have caused to so many people. This whole ordeal seems to be just one selfish choice after another. So all I have really done is ceased any happiness for the victims and myself for a very long time.
I believe that forgiveness and repentance are only as real as the feelings of sorrow one has for the acts that need forgiving. I think it is interesting that repent comes from the Latin word for pain. When the word was originally was written down it meant to feel regret for ones sins. I guess there is a difference between being forgiven and being repentant.


Nick B.