Mark
The quote I picked is about Overcoming Adversity and Challenges and I picked it because it is part of the summit student creed. The quote is “We acquire the strength we have over come.” * Ralph Waldo Emerson. In Persepolis Marjane has to grow up and make her own choice or she could be killed. She also stands up for what she believes in and takes risks to speak out with she thinks. Sometimes you have to go against the rules to stand up for what is right for you or leave.
With Hotel Rwanda Paul over come a lot of challenges with being in touch with the some of the higher powers. He is able to get the French and some Belgium soldiers to come and get some of the people that are staying in the hotel the “Whites”. Then Paul tells everyone to call and tries to get help and the people that got help get passports. But on the way to leave the radio person is informed and told that the hotel is trying to get people out.
Swing Kids over come adversity with the power of the police being ignorant of not knowing the singers or people that sing swing music. The kids band together and join the bad side and learn how to not get caught.
Showing posts with label Mark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Mark
The book we have been reading has made me think a lot about the war we are in and have been for years. The whole thing with the Middle East is starting to be over rated because of oil and all the stuff being said about the US being over there trying to help. Then we get notice we have to be out with in the end of June. I have enjoyed seeing Marji grow up it has been something I haven’t seen in any books I have read. I have learned more about living in Iran then I knew before we started reading the book. From this experience I would never want to be in the country where the war is happening and having to be scared to answer the phone and find out someone is died from bombs.
The book we have been reading has made me think a lot about the war we are in and have been for years. The whole thing with the Middle East is starting to be over rated because of oil and all the stuff being said about the US being over there trying to help. Then we get notice we have to be out with in the end of June. I have enjoyed seeing Marji grow up it has been something I haven’t seen in any books I have read. I have learned more about living in Iran then I knew before we started reading the book. From this experience I would never want to be in the country where the war is happening and having to be scared to answer the phone and find out someone is died from bombs.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Stuff I Think
I feel like writing a list of swear words because I’m going to be 18 on the 12th of June, and I will still be in the group home. Fun shizz man. Brain washing is something I like to say as of late. Being in the program I brainwash myself so I can be a better person and get out that place asap. I have been encouraged to change by every one in some way or another and I get a small thought that “I’m not good enough to be here?” I have been told that people miss the old me and I think that I was funny but that is about all I saw that has changed. I need to get down and work every second tell I get back my freedoms. The revolution is going to happen here and it may have already started in some places. I believe that when people are upset with something and can’t change it the normal way then you rebel and make it change or die trying to do so.
Mark
I feel like writing a list of swear words because I’m going to be 18 on the 12th of June, and I will still be in the group home. Fun shizz man. Brain washing is something I like to say as of late. Being in the program I brainwash myself so I can be a better person and get out that place asap. I have been encouraged to change by every one in some way or another and I get a small thought that “I’m not good enough to be here?” I have been told that people miss the old me and I think that I was funny but that is about all I saw that has changed. I need to get down and work every second tell I get back my freedoms. The revolution is going to happen here and it may have already started in some places. I believe that when people are upset with something and can’t change it the normal way then you rebel and make it change or die trying to do so.
Mark
Friday, May 8, 2009
I have over come some big challenges in the last year and even more in the last three months. Some tasks where advancing in my program and being 100% honest with all my actions. I have got a level drop and next week it will be, as if it never happened because I will have earned it back. When the crap hits the fan, you can start to learn right away and know what to not do the next time. Not doing something to get in trouble for that you can get caught for.
I have also stopped all my meds and been off them for about a week and my sleep med for two in a half weeks. Almost every time meds are done, I get called and I tell the staff I don’t take meds and for a minute they think I’m lying but I really have. When I have told people they are really happy and proud of me for being able to do this because not a lot of kids can and be ok. That is but the tip of things I have done.
Mark
I have also stopped all my meds and been off them for about a week and my sleep med for two in a half weeks. Almost every time meds are done, I get called and I tell the staff I don’t take meds and for a minute they think I’m lying but I really have. When I have told people they are really happy and proud of me for being able to do this because not a lot of kids can and be ok. That is but the tip of things I have done.
Mark
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I Wish
I would probably have the talent of knowing my therapy and being able to spit it out when I need to, but to also know I’m talking about. Also, to be able to get in the cracks of people that are putting up walls and trying to not work for anything or anyone. I could also be able to feel like I have a chance at getting out of my program. I believe that you have to be near perfect to get out. I’m not anywhere around being perfect, but I do work for it. I would be a lot closer to the end and then I could be with the people I hold in my heart and can’t talk to when I need them the most. “I need to CHANGE,” is what I have started to say instead of “I need out.” I see myself getting out in at least four month from now or more and I keep letting myself get off track because of my feelings for the girl I can’t be with or anything with.
Mark
I would probably have the talent of knowing my therapy and being able to spit it out when I need to, but to also know I’m talking about. Also, to be able to get in the cracks of people that are putting up walls and trying to not work for anything or anyone. I could also be able to feel like I have a chance at getting out of my program. I believe that you have to be near perfect to get out. I’m not anywhere around being perfect, but I do work for it. I would be a lot closer to the end and then I could be with the people I hold in my heart and can’t talk to when I need them the most. “I need to CHANGE,” is what I have started to say instead of “I need out.” I see myself getting out in at least four month from now or more and I keep letting myself get off track because of my feelings for the girl I can’t be with or anything with.
Mark
Friday, April 10, 2009
Narrative Rough Draft
How do you deal with death?
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep and I will never know why or how, other then as Doug has told me “the good die young.” When all of us got the news that he has been found dead, we already new something was wrong. We were hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened between us. All the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to.
His name is Adam Jay Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go ahead.” Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man.”
The love and compassion he had for the people in his life was truly amazing. I was able to attend his funeral service on the first of this month. It was vary healing for me and all who went. Real quick wouldn’t it be a sick joke if someone played on anyone to say he is dead, I would rather have cried and still got him back even to say goodbye forever. He would listen and always try to understand what’s wrong. This one time I was so broken up with how to feel, I barfed because I was crying really hard. He told me take a deep breath and drink some water, but most of all sat there next to me and listened to everything I was saying. The whole time, trying to help me fix the problem or make is better in way he could.
He was the only staff that most of my peers could really relate to. When he was sixteen, he was sent to Provo canyon lock up place for misbehaving. He was in Oregon, three o’clock in the morning with two big cops holding night sticks saying “we can do this the hard way or the easy way.” He was then put on a plane and taken to this Provo place. The stay there was a year and he was there for a little over seven months. Because is cleaned up his act and worked super hard and got out and back to his life. The reason I say all of this is because he did relate to us the best out of all the staff.
I think of him as one of my brothers, he was given the love that one of your family members would give. I haven’t seen my brother for, well all year wow I need to get out and make up the time with him. I would wake up every Saturday with some smell of food that he was making for us. I will miss him; he made my group home stay easier. He will always have a spot in my heart for helping me to change and make better choices.
After reading this I hope that you have made the choice to become better and have a better life. When life is so crazy stop and take a deep breath and think before you act on what you are doing or about to do. Ask yourself, why you are doing this and if it will help out life. But most of all I think you need to forget yourself and help out everyone around you. The peace that comes with that is amazing. I wish I could put it in a jar or box and give it to people that need a boost because it helps, I promise. Go do it because it isn’t try; it is ether doing it or not.
Mark
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep and I will never know why or how, other then as Doug has told me “the good die young.” When all of us got the news that he has been found dead, we already new something was wrong. We were hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened between us. All the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to.
His name is Adam Jay Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go ahead.” Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man.”
The love and compassion he had for the people in his life was truly amazing. I was able to attend his funeral service on the first of this month. It was vary healing for me and all who went. Real quick wouldn’t it be a sick joke if someone played on anyone to say he is dead, I would rather have cried and still got him back even to say goodbye forever. He would listen and always try to understand what’s wrong. This one time I was so broken up with how to feel, I barfed because I was crying really hard. He told me take a deep breath and drink some water, but most of all sat there next to me and listened to everything I was saying. The whole time, trying to help me fix the problem or make is better in way he could.
He was the only staff that most of my peers could really relate to. When he was sixteen, he was sent to Provo canyon lock up place for misbehaving. He was in Oregon, three o’clock in the morning with two big cops holding night sticks saying “we can do this the hard way or the easy way.” He was then put on a plane and taken to this Provo place. The stay there was a year and he was there for a little over seven months. Because is cleaned up his act and worked super hard and got out and back to his life. The reason I say all of this is because he did relate to us the best out of all the staff.
I think of him as one of my brothers, he was given the love that one of your family members would give. I haven’t seen my brother for, well all year wow I need to get out and make up the time with him. I would wake up every Saturday with some smell of food that he was making for us. I will miss him; he made my group home stay easier. He will always have a spot in my heart for helping me to change and make better choices.
After reading this I hope that you have made the choice to become better and have a better life. When life is so crazy stop and take a deep breath and think before you act on what you are doing or about to do. Ask yourself, why you are doing this and if it will help out life. But most of all I think you need to forget yourself and help out everyone around you. The peace that comes with that is amazing. I wish I could put it in a jar or box and give it to people that need a boost because it helps, I promise. Go do it because it isn’t try; it is ether doing it or not.
Mark
Friday, April 3, 2009
Narrative: Body Paragraphs
How do you deal with death?
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep and I will never know why or how, other then as Doug has told me “the good die young.” When all of us got the news that he has been found dead, we already new something was wrong. We were hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened between us. All the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to.
His name is Adam Jay Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go ahead.” Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man.”
The love and compassion he had for the people in his life was truly amazing. I was able to attend his funeral service on the first of this month. It was vary healing for me and I think all who went. Real quick wouldn’t it be a sick joke if someone played on anyone to say he is dead, I would rather have cried and still got him back even to say goodbye forever. He would listen and always try to understand what’s wrong. This one time I was so broken up with how to feel, I barfed because I was crying really hard. He told me take a deep breath and drink some water, but most of all sat there next to me and listened to everything I was saying. The whole time, trying to help me fix the problem or make is better in way he could.
He was the only staff that most of my peers could really relate to. When he was sixteen, he was sent to Provo canyon lock up place for misbehaving. He was in Oregon three o’clock in the morning with two big cops holding night sticks saying “we can do this the hard way or the easy way.” He was then put on a plane and taken to this Provo place. The stay there was a year and he was there for a little over seven months. Because is cleaned up his act and worked super hard and got out and back his life. The reason I say all of this is because he did relate to us the best out of all the staff.
I think of him as one of my brothers, he was given the love that one of your family members would give. I haven’t seen my brother for, well all year wow I need to get out and make up the time with him. I would wake up every Saturday with some smell of food that he was making for us. I will miss him; he made my group home stay easier. He will always have a spot in my heart for helping me to change and make better.
Mark
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep and I will never know why or how, other then as Doug has told me “the good die young.” When all of us got the news that he has been found dead, we already new something was wrong. We were hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened between us. All the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to.
His name is Adam Jay Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go ahead.” Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man.”
The love and compassion he had for the people in his life was truly amazing. I was able to attend his funeral service on the first of this month. It was vary healing for me and I think all who went. Real quick wouldn’t it be a sick joke if someone played on anyone to say he is dead, I would rather have cried and still got him back even to say goodbye forever. He would listen and always try to understand what’s wrong. This one time I was so broken up with how to feel, I barfed because I was crying really hard. He told me take a deep breath and drink some water, but most of all sat there next to me and listened to everything I was saying. The whole time, trying to help me fix the problem or make is better in way he could.
He was the only staff that most of my peers could really relate to. When he was sixteen, he was sent to Provo canyon lock up place for misbehaving. He was in Oregon three o’clock in the morning with two big cops holding night sticks saying “we can do this the hard way or the easy way.” He was then put on a plane and taken to this Provo place. The stay there was a year and he was there for a little over seven months. Because is cleaned up his act and worked super hard and got out and back his life. The reason I say all of this is because he did relate to us the best out of all the staff.
I think of him as one of my brothers, he was given the love that one of your family members would give. I haven’t seen my brother for, well all year wow I need to get out and make up the time with him. I would wake up every Saturday with some smell of food that he was making for us. I will miss him; he made my group home stay easier. He will always have a spot in my heart for helping me to change and make better.
Mark
Friday, March 27, 2009
Narrative Introduction
How do you deal with death?
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep. When all of us got the news that he has been found dead we already new something was wrong. We where hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened with us, all the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to. His name is Adam Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now. Because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go a head”. Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man”.
Yesterday one of my good friends, mentor, and big brother past away in his sleep. When all of us got the news that he has been found dead we already new something was wrong. We where hoping that we where in trouble and that everything was alright with him. I heard the news but didn’t really hear it tell like ten minutes later, I started to cry and recall all the things that have happened with us, all the help he has been to me would be a waste if I didn’t improve my life or work on the things I need to. His name is Adam Wilkinson, he has worked at the group home for two years, and the last thing he said to me was. “I don’t work here for the pay because it’s nothing compared to the pay you give me”.
I have seen about fifteen people deal with this and most of them have been similar in the way then act. I cried and talked about all the amazing times we had together, and then I went to sleep and I hope that’s all the crying I well do for now. Because I think crying is a waste of time, but not really I say that because I don’t like crying. Some people it really hasn’t had much affect on, from what I have seen. One of us is taking a vow of silence and I could hear Adam saying “If you think it will help, go a head”. Also some are dressed in black for appreciation of the “White Rasta Man”.
Friday, March 13, 2009
What do you to break somebody’s pride?
Do you think your pride would be broken if you have to wear a orange shirt for a week? The shirt is ripped stained, has bleach spots on it but the worst is that the shirt smells like play dough. I think my pride is broken in some ways but the way I think it “needs” I am to prideful to let it go and smash it. I have to much pride to get help or accept I need it from a lot of people. I think of Pride Rock from the “Lion king”. That is my favorite movie.
Mark
Do you think your pride would be broken if you have to wear a orange shirt for a week? The shirt is ripped stained, has bleach spots on it but the worst is that the shirt smells like play dough. I think my pride is broken in some ways but the way I think it “needs” I am to prideful to let it go and smash it. I have to much pride to get help or accept I need it from a lot of people. I think of Pride Rock from the “Lion king”. That is my favorite movie.
Mark
Friday, March 6, 2009
What’s your face?
I have come to learn to limit the people I trust because I can’t always be right with what that person is feeling or thinking they feel. I find myself in a really hard place and with the person I can’t have anything to do with. No way in heaven can I fix any of the problems and even if I do the soonest would be July. I can promise to still want to at least talk about what happened and that’s all I have going for me.
But as of now I’m positive I will try to mend the wrong and make whatever I get the chance to because I have such strong feelings. I wish I could have the chance to fix it now but that’s too much of a “pig” problem of immanent gratification. I once read that patients are the key right now. I have the feeling that I have be shown a face and not the real person I thought I knew, but I do not at all want to believe that is what really happened. Because I don’t have any way to find out what’s, what.
Tell I can I just have to work on my self and not let the past effect the future goals I have been waiting, wishing, and dreaming about form the start. Most of all people need to be real with how they feel and why they made and make chooses in life!
Mark
I have come to learn to limit the people I trust because I can’t always be right with what that person is feeling or thinking they feel. I find myself in a really hard place and with the person I can’t have anything to do with. No way in heaven can I fix any of the problems and even if I do the soonest would be July. I can promise to still want to at least talk about what happened and that’s all I have going for me.
But as of now I’m positive I will try to mend the wrong and make whatever I get the chance to because I have such strong feelings. I wish I could have the chance to fix it now but that’s too much of a “pig” problem of immanent gratification. I once read that patients are the key right now. I have the feeling that I have be shown a face and not the real person I thought I knew, but I do not at all want to believe that is what really happened. Because I don’t have any way to find out what’s, what.
Tell I can I just have to work on my self and not let the past effect the future goals I have been waiting, wishing, and dreaming about form the start. Most of all people need to be real with how they feel and why they made and make chooses in life!
Mark
Friday, February 20, 2009
I chose number C, haha. So Hamlet doesn’t treat woman the way I believe you should. I got upset when he is a jerk to his mom and even to Ophelia the girl of his dreams the only thing he has to look foreword to living. When he is disrespectful to Gertrude, I started to feel sad because I haven’t be the best I could have been to my mom the person who carried me for nine months. I think Hamlet was so emotional because of his Dad being killed by his uncle. He was so lost in the world and what to do or think, I would be lost because with how to act also.
The good with Ophelia is that she cared for Hamlets well being and really loved him but didn’t now how to act when he was crazy. The bad I think was she wouldn’t tell Hamlet that the king and her dad where telling her to do the things and spying on them. I think she took the “Easy way out” by killing herself instead of working through the crap.
With Gertrude I feel like he lost respect for her when she married his uncle not even a full two months later when the king had just died. I am pretty sure I would to that is just screwed up to me. The good with her is she …. I think I have any thing good about her. The bad is she just takes orders and doesn’t make her own choices in life. Another is not being up front like when Polonius is in the room listening to them talk she should have told Hamlet he was there and maybe he would still be alive. I really find that disrespectful of people when they do that and even more when I do.
I think he loved Ophelia more then his own mother but I would have to in his case. He was more respectful to his mom but I don’t think he knew how to handle thing with Ophelia to fix them. But I think Hamlet is a stud and he could of went about things a little better but he did his best and that’s all you can ask for because no one is perfect. But we all strive to be and I hope we do the best we can.
Mark
The good with Ophelia is that she cared for Hamlets well being and really loved him but didn’t now how to act when he was crazy. The bad I think was she wouldn’t tell Hamlet that the king and her dad where telling her to do the things and spying on them. I think she took the “Easy way out” by killing herself instead of working through the crap.
With Gertrude I feel like he lost respect for her when she married his uncle not even a full two months later when the king had just died. I am pretty sure I would to that is just screwed up to me. The good with her is she …. I think I have any thing good about her. The bad is she just takes orders and doesn’t make her own choices in life. Another is not being up front like when Polonius is in the room listening to them talk she should have told Hamlet he was there and maybe he would still be alive. I really find that disrespectful of people when they do that and even more when I do.
I think he loved Ophelia more then his own mother but I would have to in his case. He was more respectful to his mom but I don’t think he knew how to handle thing with Ophelia to fix them. But I think Hamlet is a stud and he could of went about things a little better but he did his best and that’s all you can ask for because no one is perfect. But we all strive to be and I hope we do the best we can.
Mark
Friday, February 13, 2009
Valentines Day
My memories of the this singles awareness day is one time in ninth grade this girl that I had never talked to, came up and gave me a mix CD with love songs on it, and asked me out. I talked about this with my friends and laughed about it later, but I said no I don’t even know you or your name so maybe if we get to know each other. Another memory is my sister almost every Valentines day will ask me to be her valentine.
I don’t hate the day but I don’t like it that much or even care for it. I will probably start to like it more when I get married and have a lover I can be with “Always and Forever” and just maybe even talk to her just maybe. With out being with someone on this day then it’s just lame so I don’t know. I don’t have any traditions or things that we do on Valentines Day, well I guess my family and I go out to dinner some where nicer.
My plans for this weekend are almost the same as the week before but I get to have a visit and hang out with my family for a little bit. I plan to do a lot of therapy in order to gain my level next Thursday so I can get home sooner than later. I need out so I can start the next part of my life. I’m so happy to be doing the things to help life get better and back to normal or as close to it as possible.
Mark
My memories of the this singles awareness day is one time in ninth grade this girl that I had never talked to, came up and gave me a mix CD with love songs on it, and asked me out. I talked about this with my friends and laughed about it later, but I said no I don’t even know you or your name so maybe if we get to know each other. Another memory is my sister almost every Valentines day will ask me to be her valentine.
I don’t hate the day but I don’t like it that much or even care for it. I will probably start to like it more when I get married and have a lover I can be with “Always and Forever” and just maybe even talk to her just maybe. With out being with someone on this day then it’s just lame so I don’t know. I don’t have any traditions or things that we do on Valentines Day, well I guess my family and I go out to dinner some where nicer.
My plans for this weekend are almost the same as the week before but I get to have a visit and hang out with my family for a little bit. I plan to do a lot of therapy in order to gain my level next Thursday so I can get home sooner than later. I need out so I can start the next part of my life. I’m so happy to be doing the things to help life get better and back to normal or as close to it as possible.
Mark
Friday, February 6, 2009
Drugs Bad or Good you make the choise because I can’t for you or I would!
I have used, made, and sold drugs in my life and I have had tons of friends that loved my drug use more then me. That is something I vow to stop in my life as much as I can because all the pain it has caused in my life and the person I love more then anything. I was selling weed and making more money then most people that have a real and legal job. I’m left with nothing and have nothing to show for it enless you cut open my lungs.
The life style that smoking the “bud ” gets you will, if not already is robbing your self of the amazing things you could have and you don’t even see or want to see them. It’s hard for a lot of drug users to see that by using drugs you are living for drugs and not life because it has become your life and everything and anything you do. When you start to lie to the people that are the closest to your all by your self and have to fight to stay “high” and “out of it” to be ok with life. What you have caused around you and you don’t think it hurts anyone, wake up not wake a bake. I thought that drugs where number one, I moved out of the best place I could have been at the time, dropped out of school, cut off all relationships with good friends and stopped caring about life.
I hate when people I know that there high and they think they can pull one over me and make me think that they aren’t on anything. Being fake really gets to me and I feel like shit because I have been down that road and I have done the same things. I have had some friends that are only your friend for one common intrest and when it’s gone so is the friendship. At times when your dealer is out, dry, broke or cought up in the system and getting drug tested. He is just another guy with a phone number you don’t call anymore or even think about. I have know some people that well do anything for them self even if that means snitching out others to stop from getting cofed up. After you get bored of just getting high on weed you move up to bigger and harder drugs and that’s when the super hard times start.
Yes weed is in my mind is the least harmful drug out there but still has it’s effects to lead you to other drugs. You can fight this all day if you don’t think it’s true but weed is a gateway drug and dose make it easer to try other drugs. Ya it comes from a plant, it’s natural, bullshit I have grown it and you add a lot of stuff to make it more potent and higher the THC level from about 11 to 24- 28. I have said that I wouldn’t every use drugs and that weed is just a plant. I won’t use any other drugs, but I did and I never started the day saying I want to use “coke” or anything like that. I told myself that I couldn’t get bored of sitting around and smoke a blunt everyday of the rest of my life but I did and it got vary bad, fast.
I hope I have done something to help you from making the same mistakes I have in my life or at least decresing the pain it causes you and others around you. I wish I could fight the battles for you and not let you or anyone else get hurt ever again from drugs. I want to let you know that you are not alone in the fight. Talk to someone and get the help you need to get back on track for a good life.
Mark
I have used, made, and sold drugs in my life and I have had tons of friends that loved my drug use more then me. That is something I vow to stop in my life as much as I can because all the pain it has caused in my life and the person I love more then anything. I was selling weed and making more money then most people that have a real and legal job. I’m left with nothing and have nothing to show for it enless you cut open my lungs.
The life style that smoking the “bud ” gets you will, if not already is robbing your self of the amazing things you could have and you don’t even see or want to see them. It’s hard for a lot of drug users to see that by using drugs you are living for drugs and not life because it has become your life and everything and anything you do. When you start to lie to the people that are the closest to your all by your self and have to fight to stay “high” and “out of it” to be ok with life. What you have caused around you and you don’t think it hurts anyone, wake up not wake a bake. I thought that drugs where number one, I moved out of the best place I could have been at the time, dropped out of school, cut off all relationships with good friends and stopped caring about life.
I hate when people I know that there high and they think they can pull one over me and make me think that they aren’t on anything. Being fake really gets to me and I feel like shit because I have been down that road and I have done the same things. I have had some friends that are only your friend for one common intrest and when it’s gone so is the friendship. At times when your dealer is out, dry, broke or cought up in the system and getting drug tested. He is just another guy with a phone number you don’t call anymore or even think about. I have know some people that well do anything for them self even if that means snitching out others to stop from getting cofed up. After you get bored of just getting high on weed you move up to bigger and harder drugs and that’s when the super hard times start.
Yes weed is in my mind is the least harmful drug out there but still has it’s effects to lead you to other drugs. You can fight this all day if you don’t think it’s true but weed is a gateway drug and dose make it easer to try other drugs. Ya it comes from a plant, it’s natural, bullshit I have grown it and you add a lot of stuff to make it more potent and higher the THC level from about 11 to 24- 28. I have said that I wouldn’t every use drugs and that weed is just a plant. I won’t use any other drugs, but I did and I never started the day saying I want to use “coke” or anything like that. I told myself that I couldn’t get bored of sitting around and smoke a blunt everyday of the rest of my life but I did and it got vary bad, fast.
I hope I have done something to help you from making the same mistakes I have in my life or at least decresing the pain it causes you and others around you. I wish I could fight the battles for you and not let you or anyone else get hurt ever again from drugs. I want to let you know that you are not alone in the fight. Talk to someone and get the help you need to get back on track for a good life.
Mark
Friday, January 23, 2009
DO IT!!!
I am in shock that my step mom handled the news super good from therapy. I am amazed how well people can be when life is so unhappy and over all just not a whole a lot to live for. The control we as people have is great if we develop it and make it something that we can lead as examples. I want to be a strong person and not ever fall down in the face of problems or at a time when I am need the most. By running from it, you can never help anyone because some day it will find you, corner you, and tell you have no other choice to do what you should have done right when it happens. I still need to stand up and face adversity when it is so hard to. I just have to think of when I did not and the crap it caused that can be avoided easy so switch it up next time. I will try to protect others form what I have done in the past and give my advice to help everyone around me for the rest of my life.
Mark
Mark
Friday, January 16, 2009
On December of 06 the time seemed to stop and my eyes opened the dam of water. I cried from 10ish to 5:30am and that was most of my crying. I have cried count less times since then and I keep on telling my self “he’s watching over me so stop wasting time and get to work”. I don’t think there is a set time you have to or should grieve over some thing that is sad. Because there is time for self pity but to much gets in the way of what you need to do to “get over it” move on and live life to the fullest not only for you but everyone. Normally after I sleep it over it’s ok or not as bad normally. But have my grandpa die still hurts and it will for awhile.
I would hope my mom didn’t want to get married again for my sake. But I would want her to be as happy as she could be even if it meant she got remarried. I wouldn’t like it because it could be a double loss for me as her kid to have lost my dad and still feel like crap, then have some guy take that place. I extremely dislike seeing people unhappy and not even having the possibility of trying to make things better or cheer them up.
Mark
I would hope my mom didn’t want to get married again for my sake. But I would want her to be as happy as she could be even if it meant she got remarried. I wouldn’t like it because it could be a double loss for me as her kid to have lost my dad and still feel like crap, then have some guy take that place. I extremely dislike seeing people unhappy and not even having the possibility of trying to make things better or cheer them up.
Mark
Friday, January 9, 2009
Friday, November 21, 2008
Today I got a taste of what I hope to be in my future career as a cop/DEA. I have this friend at school and he has been using pills. So a few days later thay where on 24 red devils and they kept turning around saying “I tripping out so hard I’m so out of it I can’t stand up” We made a deal that if they do anything and I find out I would go strait to Doug and tell him what’s what. So I was thinking and they had already made a promise to not do anything and hear they where on some. So I went and told Doug that this was going on and he looks at me and says, “If you want to you can pull them out of class and talk, or I could just pull them out of class but tell them to go to Doug’s office.” I said that I would talk to them and make things go as smooth as I could. I call them on the radio because they where out in P.E.
When they came up the stares they asked me what’s up. I told them to come hear and have I sit by me. He asked me what’s going on, what do you need me for. I told them that I have talked to Doug and that I really care about there life and this is the same road that I took and look where it has got me. I want them to make the right choice. Plus Doug is my best friend and he is really understanding and an ausome guy give him a chance lets go talk to him. They keep saying, “Do you know what you have done your sanding me to secure care” and the thought that ran in my head do you realize what you have done. They where so mad at me and I thought he was going to hit me or kick me but nothing happened. I got up and told them lets go in Doug’s office and talk to him.
So when we walked in Doug’s office and he asks what’s going on? They say from what Mark has said you already know everything. I hate how it made me feel but I know it is the right thing to do and I wouldn’t change it. As they where walking out I said to them I love you. I was thinking these to that I want what’s best for them and I’m sorry that this has to happen to are friendship.
Mark
When they came up the stares they asked me what’s up. I told them to come hear and have I sit by me. He asked me what’s going on, what do you need me for. I told them that I have talked to Doug and that I really care about there life and this is the same road that I took and look where it has got me. I want them to make the right choice. Plus Doug is my best friend and he is really understanding and an ausome guy give him a chance lets go talk to him. They keep saying, “Do you know what you have done your sanding me to secure care” and the thought that ran in my head do you realize what you have done. They where so mad at me and I thought he was going to hit me or kick me but nothing happened. I got up and told them lets go in Doug’s office and talk to him.
So when we walked in Doug’s office and he asks what’s going on? They say from what Mark has said you already know everything. I hate how it made me feel but I know it is the right thing to do and I wouldn’t change it. As they where walking out I said to them I love you. I was thinking these to that I want what’s best for them and I’m sorry that this has to happen to are friendship.
Mark
Friday, November 14, 2008
I think that I have some kind of power that I can feel something so much that it happens. It’s a big coincident that something like that would happen. I was so shocked and overjoyed with happiness. The night before I was talking to Regan about girls and how much we thought about them and things of that sort. I also told him that I have never felt thing way about this wonderful person in my whole life. We talk about what we are going to do when we get out of the system. My plan was going to be finding her and ask her out and be with her for as long as we could. Being in this class made me feel wired because of last year and how much we talked plus I sat where she is and she sat where I am.I am in AYS group home for another six months and being around girls is or could be a big problem. I hate the past and look forward to the future and ways to bet there and I will never go back to the life that I once had.
Mark
Mark
We can easily manage if we will only take, each day the burden appointed to it. But the load will be to heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add then add then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.
By John Newton
I feel it applies to me quite a lot because it’s the vary thing that I do and some time I get so caught up in all the work that I have to do. With out even procrastinating I feel like I’m sinking in a ocean of papers. I keep learning that lesson the hard way and it sucks. I wish I would listen just not have to find out that way it has hurt my family and friends I think more than I know. I have a huge problem with “PIG” problem of impendent gratification. This is how I do things play know and work super hard at the last minute before it should be turned in.
What I think it means to live in the present is to not care for what tomorrow brings or even think about what could happen. I think it should be 30% past and 70% with the future so you can still learn from what has happened and all the things you could change and improve upon. You might get caught up in the one for to long and not focus on what is important to you. It has made him so in the future that he is not even thinking about the present and not planning how he is going to accomplish the tasks at hand.
Mark
By John Newton
I feel it applies to me quite a lot because it’s the vary thing that I do and some time I get so caught up in all the work that I have to do. With out even procrastinating I feel like I’m sinking in a ocean of papers. I keep learning that lesson the hard way and it sucks. I wish I would listen just not have to find out that way it has hurt my family and friends I think more than I know. I have a huge problem with “PIG” problem of impendent gratification. This is how I do things play know and work super hard at the last minute before it should be turned in.
What I think it means to live in the present is to not care for what tomorrow brings or even think about what could happen. I think it should be 30% past and 70% with the future so you can still learn from what has happened and all the things you could change and improve upon. You might get caught up in the one for to long and not focus on what is important to you. It has made him so in the future that he is not even thinking about the present and not planning how he is going to accomplish the tasks at hand.
Mark
Friday, November 7, 2008
Two summers ago me and my best friend broke his wall out of his basement and dug forty by fifteen feet under his garage and then we made mixed some cement up and made walls. He ordered a hydraulic door which we made in to a wall; also I bought a keypad with a finger scanner. Next we put in grow lights in then built planter boxes and hocked up the water. Put in a couch in the back with a coffee table and my projector and screen with his Xbox 360. A week later the plants popped up and four months later I started to sell it and going to all sorts of parties I thought I had the life until I woke up and came to.
The consequences for this life style was and is damaging to the point that my mom wouldn’t give me five bucks for anything because she was so scared that I would buy drugs. To get back the trust of family members take a long time and it sucks. I wish kids these days could learn from others and not form getting caught doing it. Drugs are vary bad and they hurt your family, if not you. So that’s why I have decided to be a cop and try to get in the DEA and stop people from using drugs and from going down the road that I did.
Mark
The consequences for this life style was and is damaging to the point that my mom wouldn’t give me five bucks for anything because she was so scared that I would buy drugs. To get back the trust of family members take a long time and it sucks. I wish kids these days could learn from others and not form getting caught doing it. Drugs are vary bad and they hurt your family, if not you. So that’s why I have decided to be a cop and try to get in the DEA and stop people from using drugs and from going down the road that I did.
Mark
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