Depression

Have you ever felt that life was to hard, or maybe that you couldn’t handle everything that’s showed up in your life? Well you’re not alone; I’ve felt this way plenty of times. It’s hard to deal with I agree, but that is the time where it is important not to give up. See I have a problem with depression I know how it works and what it feels like which is why I do not think it is something to joke about. It can lead people into addictions such as drugs, alcohol, self-harm, or worse suicide. When people joke about suicide and/or depression I believe it gives me a pretty good reason to get upset. I’ve had people around me attempt suicide and I myself have attempted suicide several different times. Let me share an attempt with you just so you get an idea of how scary it is.
Here I am taking a time-out and it seems everyone is mad at me and that my life is crumbling down. I thought that I had finally hit rock bottom and that I would never get out of this hole I was in. I didn’t know exactly how I was going to off myself but I thought it had to be done if I could never be good at anything. Then I saw my belt just lying there on the floor, and it hit me I’m going to choke myself out with my belt. I mean nobody is around to stop me. So I put the belt around neck pulling it tighter and tighter. I start to have a hard time breathing thinking to myself “this is it”. But just then my belt got caught as I start to panic. I start to see black. After about 30 seconds to a minute my belt loosened up. I breathe terribly fast trying to get back to my normal self. I didn’t tell anyone for 2 months.
This incident was this past year. It was the closest I had ever come to death. It was this scariest thing I’ve ever gone through. For this reason I think that suicide and depression is never funny and should not be messed with…

james